When individuals or partners navigate attachment and relationship issues, it inevitably leads to discussions about sex and intimacy. In fact, a significant number of couples and individuals work with me primarily due to sexual challenges and issues under the sexual umbrella– it is absolutely common and typical to encounter some variety of sexual challenge as a person goes through life. Regrettably, societal taboos surrounding sex often leave many individuals grappling with their struggles in shame and secrecy and feeling othered, alone, and somehow different because of these issues. Even within the mental health field, therapists may feel uneasy addressing sexual issues and refer out cases with sexual components. Many therapists view the topics of sex and sexuality as a speciality despite the fact that sex, intimacy, and pleasure are core human experiences. I work to create a safe, affirming, and non-judgmental space to explore and address all aspects of life with my individuals and couples, including sex, intimacy, and sexuality.

MISMATCHED SEXUAL DESIRES

One of the most prevalent issues observed in partnerships is the intricate challenge of having mismatched sexual desires and preferences, often rooted in various factors. Life changes, emotional shifts, disparate expectations, internalized biases, and physiological differences can contribute to variations in sexual rhythm and preferences. These distinctions frequently give rise to feelings of rejection, inadequacy, pressure, and disappointment, potentially evolving into narratives and assigned meanings surrounding differences in sexual drive. In therapy, our focus is on comprehending and addressing these disparities with compassion and optimism. We strive to unpack existing narratives, enhance communication, and develop solution-focused strategies that pave the way for a more harmonious and satisfying intimate connection.

TRAUMA & SEXUAL ABUSE

Trauma and sexual abuse has a profound impact on the nervous system and intimate relationships. Survivors may struggle with nervous system dysregulation and a lack of felt safety that influences their ability to trust and connect with their partners on various levels. Navigating these sensitive issues requires a compassionate and gentle approach. In therapy, we create a safe environment to facilitate nervous system regulation, increase felt safety, deepen trust, and improve communication. Indeed, forging safe, secure connections with others and finding co-regulation and attunement in our relationships is often a core ingredient to healing from sexual abuse and trauma.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION & ANXIETY

Addressing the common challenges of erectile dysfunction (ED) and anxiety surrounding sexual performance is often a core aspect of work with couples. Beyond the physical impacts, these issues can take a significant emotional toll, fanning feelings of shame, inadequacy, and avoidance. The therapeutic process often involves understanding the root causes of ED and/ or performance anxiety, whether they be psychological, narrative, or physiological, and exploring holistic approaches to reduce anxiety and feelings of shame. We work together as a team to increase hope and connection, and co-create solutions for creating fulfilling sexual lives. Entering a supportive and non-judgmental space is often the first step of

PAIN DURING INTERCOURSE

Some individuals experience physical pain during intercourse, posing a significant barrier to intimacy. Understanding the potential causes, whether rooted in physical or psychological factors, is crucial for finding effective solutions. Many clients work with me alongside their treating physician and physical therapist (such as pelvic floor PTs) in a collaborative manner. This allows us to address any underlying physiological contributors of pain, while also tending to compounding stressors and psychological factors. It can be beneficial to engage in this work within the context of couples counseling, so that partners can be aware of how to support the partner in pain and enhance communication.

INTIMACY ISSUES

Building emotional intimacy is a foundational aspect of any healthy relationship and often, sexual connections, yet various challenges can impede connection and felt safety. Different attachment styles, communication breakdowns, unprocessed trauma, and differing expectations and lived experiences may contribute to intimacy issues. Many couples enter feeling deep shame around changing feelings toward their partners, for example, feeling like aspects of their romantic or sexual lives have profoundly altered. Using emotionally-focused and narrative therapies, I work with partners to transform the implicit into explicit, reauthor their own story about their relationship, and hopefully, bridge intimacy deficits so they can improve connection and sex.

KINK & BDSM

A significant number of individuals seek therapeutic support when navigating challenges related to kink and BDSM, as these dynamics introduce a layer of complexity to intimate relationships that necessitates a nuanced understanding of consent, communication, and mutual respect. Couples who engage in kink and BDSM practices find profound value in cultivating safe, affirming, and non-judgmental spaces within the therapeutic setting. These environments become essential arenas for exploring desires, understanding boundaries, and fostering open communication. The intricate power dynamics inherent in many kink and BDSM interactions can introduce complex nuances to relationships, intertwining with broader issues such as cultural influences, racial factors, gender dynamics, mental health considerations, and the paramount importance of ensuring sexual safety.

OTHER SEX ISSUES

Addressing gender-specific sexual health issues involves a holistic approach, often in collaboration with coordinating medical teams when issues overlap with physical concerns. Dozens of life, physiological, mental health, and developmental factors can profoundly impact sexual health. Many clients come to therapy to process issues including, but certainly not limited to:

• sexual issues due to chronic illness
• sex after baby & during parenthood
• infertility & grief
• aging
• STIs
• sex & different abilities
• neurodivergence & sexual issues
• challenges with reaching orgasm
• sexual aversion
• out-of-control sexual behaviors
• body image
• libido issues

I work to provide a safe and inclusive space for individuals and couples to explore and enhance their sexual health. By acknowledging the diverse factors that influence sexuality and normalizing non-idealized and perfect sexual lives, we can work towards finding solutions and fulfillment.

QUEER, INTERSEX & TRANS SEX ISSUES

I approach my work with LGBTQ+ clients from a standpoint of complete non-judgment and affirmation. Numerous inaccurate and harmful myths surrounding sex and LGBTQIA+ persist, creating additional barriers for these clients in seeking support for sexual challenges. The LGBTQ+ community faces distinctive challenges beyond those encountered by cis-het clients, including heightened marginalization and a lack of safety. Sexual concerns within this community may encompass navigating changes in bodies, adapting sexual experiences, and working through internalized gender norms and myths that are often dominant in society.

Regrettably, not all MFT programs mandate comprehensive education on human sexuality. While some programs lack any coursework on the subject, the majority require as little as one credit or under 12 hours of total coursework on sex. Consequently, the treatment of sexual issues in mental healthcare is often regarded as a specialty.

I am committed to continuously enriching my knowledge and understanding of sexual, relationship, and therapeutic issues. I am currently supervised by Alejandro Sandoval of Sandoval Therapy in Pasadena, and I am enrolled in the Comprehensive Sexology Program at The Buehler Institute. Simultaneously, as I work towards certification in EMDR, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, and sex therapy, I engage in ongoing consultation with certified supervisors in these areas to further enhance my expertise.

If you’d like to schedule a consultation with me,

please feel free to reach out!