Do you find that connecting with a therapist that is a good fit feels like one of the hardest parts of therapy? You’re not alone. The process of just getting into the room can be overwhelming, especially when you’re already dysregulated or in crisis. Finding a therapist with fees that are sustainable for you or a provider in-network if you want to use insurance can be a hurdle. There are also several types of therapy to choose from, differences in bedside manner, and finding a therapist that can offer you in-person or telehealth options, depending on your preference. Finally, scheduling can be challenging since most private therapists limit their caseload to 15-25 clients, and many are currently very booked.
It can feel a bit like Charlie Bucket finding the Golden Ticket.
Once you find a therapist that seems promising, you will likely be invited to have a 15-minute consultation with them, which can also feel daunting.
Here are some tips to help you prepare for that call so that you can make the most of it and ease some of the anxiety in getting started:
1. Be Ready to Discuss Why You’re Looking for A Therapist
Your potential therapist will likely ask you about your current symptoms and what has prompted you to find a therapist. Before the call, take some time to identify the specific issues that you would like to address in therapy. This could include things like trauma symptoms, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, or any other challenges you may be facing. This will also help your therapist determine if your specific needs align with their scope of expertise.
2. Check Their Availability
Before delving too much into your therapeutic needs, it is important to pragmatically know what the therapist’s availability is like and whether they could fit you in. It’s disappointing to find a great fit only to realize that the clinician does not have options that work for you. You don’t want to invest time sharing your background and needs only to find out they’re not available when you need them.
3. Ask About Fees & Payment Options
It can be disheartening to match with a therapist only to find that they are not in-network and you want to use insurance or that their fee is out of a sustainable bracket for you. Many therapists have sliding scale spots, but be aware that these slots are numbered and may be full. It may be helpful to do some market research and understand what typical fees look like in your area for level of expertise and skill. Clinicians with more certifications, specializations, demands, and experience will often have more competitive fees.
4. Be Ready to Discuss What Did & Did Not Work Before
If you have already experienced therapy before, reviewing what you liked and disliked about previous experiences is helpful. Did your previous therapist self-disclose too much for your liking? Did they spend too much time discussing solutions and not enough processing? Were they too prickly or cold for you to feel comfortable? Or perhaps they introduced you to a modality that you really enjoyed. Conveying this to the prospective therapist will help them determine if they are a good fit and can meet your needs.
5. Prepare your Questions
Consultation calls are normally short, so writing down a list of important questions you want to ask can be helpful. This could include things like their approach to therapy, their experience working with clients with similar issues to yours, and what you can expect from the therapy process. Tailor your questions around your specialty needs as well. For example, when working with reunification clients, there are often specific questions about the legal system, court orders, and methods for bridging gaps between a child and their parent. When working with trauma survivors, many have questions about trauma-focused interventions like EMDR, somatic experiencing and brainspotting.
As a therapist, here are some questions I always make sure to ask: What tangible tools do you bring into sessions for nervous system regulation? What continued education, certifications, and training are you working towards? How does the therapist handle rupture or conflict with clients when it comes up? What inspired you to become a therapist?
6. Prepare your Space & Body
Regulating your nervous system before a call with a prospective therapist can be immensely helpful. Before the call, it’s important to find a quiet and confidential space where you can fully attend to the conversation. This will help you focus on what is being said and avoid distractions that could cause added stress or anxiety.
Taking notes during the call can also be helpful, especially if you have questions or concerns you want to discuss with your therapist later on. This can help you remember important information and give you a sense of control and structure during the conversation.
Another important aspect of regulating your nervous system is doing some stabilization exercises before the session. These exercises can help you ground yourself in the present moment and reduce feelings of anxiety or overwhelm that may arise during the call. Examples of grounding exercises include deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, EFT tapping, and mindfulness meditations.
Overall, preparing for a call with a new therapist by regulating your nervous system can help you feel more grounded, focused, and in control during the call.
You Got This!
I know it can be very overwhelming to make that first contact. Rest assured that many therapists get their own flavor of butterflies when connecting with new clients. We entered this profession to support, guide, and help clients like you.
Doing a little bit of preparation before a consult call can help. Remember to be ready to discuss why you’re seeking therapy, check their availability, ask about fees and payment options, discuss what did and did not work before, and prepare a list of questions tailored to your specific needs. Finally, don’t forget to check in with yourself and your body to evaluate the call and ask for referrals if needed.
If you’d like to schedule a consult with me, I’m here for you and would be honored to see if I could be a good fit or help connect you with someone who can!
