Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly researched, evidence-based, structured approach that helps individuals and couples strengthen their emotional bonds and resolve conflicts. Research shows that EFT is effective for improving relationship satisfaction, reducing attachment-related anxieties, and addressing issues such as depression, anxiety, and trauma.

EFT helps clients identify and express their emotions in a safe, supportive environment, allowing them to reflect on core attachments and relational patterns. Through the three stages of EFT—de-escalation, restructuring interactions, and consolidation—clients learn to develop secure attachments and improve their emotional resilience and communication skills.

Another benefit of EFT is its focus on creating a secure and empathetic therapeutic alliance, which can be especially reassuring for clients who find discussing vulnerable emotions challenging. EFT emphasizes experiential learning and emotional processing, without necessitating extensive homework or cognitive tasks, making it accessible and effective for a wide range of clients.

RAPPORT BUILDING

In the early stages of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the primary focus is on establishing a strong foundation of trust, safety, and emotional connection with my clients. This phase is crucial as it sets the stage for exploring and understanding the deeper emotional dynamics within the relationship. By creating a secure and empathetic environment, clients can begin to openly express their emotions, fostering a sense of comfort and mutual understanding that is essential for the transformative work ahead. EFT therapists on the whole are known for being very warm, empathetic, and non-judgemental.

HISTORY TAKING & ASSESSMENT

History taking and assessment in EFT are critical components that provide insight into the relational dynamics and attachment patterns of the clients. During this phase, I usually gather detailed information about the clients’ relationship history, individual backgrounds, and significant life events that have shaped their emotional experiences. Length of assessment is different depending on whether I’m working with couples, indidivuals, or families, however normally I will conduct a couple of sessions one-on-one with each person in therapy. I focus on identifying core issues, recurring patterns, and emotional triggers within the client’s life and the relationships. By understanding these elements, I’m able to better tailor my approach to address the specific needs of my clients.

STAGE 1

In Stage 1 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the focus is on de-escalating negative cycles of interaction and creating a safe, non-judgmental space for clients to explore their emotions. The therapist helps clients identify and articulate their primary emotional responses and attachment needs, which are often masked by reactive behaviors and defensive patterns. By mapping out these negative interaction cycles and underlying emotions, the therapist supports clients in recognizing how their behaviors contribute to the relational distress. This awareness begins to reduce conflict and fosters a sense of understanding and empathy, laying the groundwork for deeper emotional engagement and connection.

STAGE 2

Stage 2 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) involves restructuring the bond between partners by deepening their emotional engagement. In this phase, the therapist guides clients to express their vulnerabilities and unmet attachment needs more openly and directly. This authentic emotional sharing fosters a stronger emotional connection and allows partners to respond to each other’s needs with empathy and support. As clients experience more secure attachment interactions, they begin to build new, positive patterns of relating that strengthen their bond and promote lasting relational satisfaction. This stage is marked by transformative moments where old wounds are healed, and new, healthier ways of interacting are established.

INTEGRATIVE APPROACH

Sometimes during EFT treatment, clients may encounter protective parts or emotional blocks that hinder their progress. In these instances, I often integrate parts work or somatic tools to help clients engage with these aspects of themselves, facilitating a deeper emotional connection. We may also take intentional breaks from EFT to incorporate complementary experiential therapies, such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, and somatic work, to address specific challenges. Additionally, verbal processing through Narrative Therapy and talk therapy can be profoundly valuable, allowing clients to reauthor their stories and find meaning in their experiences. These integrative approaches ensure a holistic and supportive therapeutic journey, tailored to the unique needs of each client.

I attended my first Externship in June 2023 and immediately fell in love with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the EFT community. I’ve been to many trainings and have met various types of therapists before, but I had never encountered such a warm and affirming group of clinicians. On average, EFT therapists are incredibly embracing.

What drew me even more was that EFT is rooted in attachment science. It resonated deeply with what I’ve seen about trauma and the human condition: traumatic events themselves are not as devastating as the lack of safety, connection, and belonging that often follows. Loneliness is traumatizing, and EFT centers this ethos.

Since then, I’ve dived into Core Skills, advanced group consultation, EFIT training, and individual supervision in EFCT, all with the goal of obtaining EFCT certification in 2025.

I’ve witnessed the power of EFT techniques in sessions with individuals, couples, and families, and I am honored to support my clients with this science-based, heavily researched, and non-pathologizing approach.