FAQs for Relationships

I require that new couples/ polycules, commit to weekly sessions at the onset of treatment for the first few months as we establish care. Most clients have a fixed, recurring time in my calendar, which is my recommendation for the greatest consistency and guarantee of access. Some clients migrate to sessions every other week after the first few months due to time, finances, or emotional bandwidth. Couples counseling is highly experiential, so clients should be aware that only meeting twice a month will likely slow momentum and lengthen the course of treatment.

Typically the first one or two sessions are with everyone who will be participating in therapy and then I conduct one or two individual sessions with each member for assessment. After assessment, the remainder of treatment is done with all partners in session.

When working with open relationships, networks, polycules and non-monogamous relationships involving more than two clients, the work is similar to family therapy wherein I may work systemically in various dyads, triads, and couplings throughout treatment.

I primarily use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) when working with couples and relationships. As an integrative therapist, I also weave in polyvagal theory, Narrative Therapy, parts work, and EMDR for couples. The way we tailor sessions is largely dependent on goals. For high-conflict couples, for example, we typically focus on nervous system stabilization and co-creating safe boundaries before engaging in attachment and emotion-focused work.

I can work with clients individually or as their couple/ family therapist, but I cannot treat multiple people from the same family or relationship as their individual therapist. It is important that every person in a family system have their own unbiased, contained space for processing.

Every case is different, so this is a difficult question to answer, however, most couples and polycules should anticipate being in treatment for 6-12 months minimum. When there are more individuals involved in treatment, higher conflict, trauma histories, active substance use, or a history of physical or emotional intimate partner violence in the relationship, typically treatment is longer as a result.